Contrary to Expectations

Overcoming negative expectations

Contrary to expectations, real or imagined, sometimes we let negative thoughts creep into our minds. We think of things we want to do and we hear a little voice in the back of our minds saying “you can’t do this” or “why do you think you can do that?”

We can hear these thoughts from others as well. This can be very frustrating and can fill us with unnecessary self-doubt.

When we think about the word “no” in regards to our ideas or plans, it has a fundamental negative connection. There is a finality in the word no that creates a barrier between the “here” and “there”.

What does it mean when we say no to an idea? Sometimes it can feel like we are settling for what we are now and not what we can be.

In a way, thinkings or hearing people say no to thoughts and plans is worse than when we quit trying. At least when we try we set out to achieve our goals but when you say no right, in the beginning, nothing happened. We didn’t learn anything in success or failure.

We can, in a way, feel like we settled for someone else’s point of view.

In a way, we need to be careful of whose advice we want. Do we want advice from someone who tries to achieve what they want or someone who never tried?

I think we should select, with care, the people we want to seek advice. We can learn from their experiences and avoid those who have not tried.

You shouldn’t settle for negativity when all the odds are stacked up against you. We should strive to be smarter and stronger than we are in the moment.

To help move past this type of negativity, I offer steps to help us improve.

Organize your thoughts

If we have an idea or something we want to achieve, then we need to have a plan.

Having a plan helps us remove the randomness we often find in our thoughts. A plan will organize our thoughts so we can focus our efforts.

Plans can also help us find rebuttals to people who say no. If we have a decent plan, it’ll be hard for the naysayers to poke real holes in it. At most, they can provide unsupported opinions as to why the plan won’t work.

Organizing our thoughts can help us get things done today instead of waiting for that “someday” that will never come because we never made it happen.

Find optimism

Optimism is what keeps us on track with our plan. It can be the difference between pushing to success and stopping into failure.

We know life isn’t easy and to get what we want in life we have to work at it and have patience. Optimism can be the fuel to our determination that keeps us focused on why we work so hard.

It’s up to us to remind ourselves that we have potential. That we can contribute and have a positive impact on those around us contrary to the negativity around us.

Find your determination

The determination we find in ourselves is the engine that keeps us moving forward. It’s in our power to not give up when things are hard. A determination to keep going can be at the heart of our progress.

An ounce of determination can overcome a pound of doubt and negativity.

Our determination combined with optimism is the recipe for our plan to succeed. In this way, the determination we find in ourselves will help us navigate the highs and lows we’ll experience on our paths.

Final thoughts

When we have ideas without a plan, it’s easy to get caught up in the negative expectations of others and the imagined negative expectations of ourselves.

It’s important that we have realistic and positive expectations by planning out our goals and having the optimism and determination to follow through.

Without these tools, we can be distracted or work on different things without focus and direction. This can serve to waste our time and decrease motivation to work on other ideas.


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Spring board for aspiring fiction writers. Using free time to write sci-fi / drama.

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